A fickle mistress
I don’t think I suffer from depression, but then again I’m not a doctor. I do think that I am affected by sunlight, or the lack there of in the winter. What I have found historically is that when the days first start getting shorter, I get cranky, but as the holidays near, I find my grove again. That’s not happening this hear.
I am sure that there are extenuating circumstances; I’ve got a big project going for a client I love to work with, the eldest boy spent a good deal of time over at Children’s Hospital having spine surgery, I’m not happy with my holiday light choices …
All things and more seem to be conspiring to leave me feeling wanting. I have a bunch of things in my head that I can’t seem to make any real life progress on. Some things that popped into my head, and just as quickly slipped out before I even had the chance to write the idea down. It’s just got me feeling … overwhelmed? underwhelmed? uninspired?
I think this happens. I think that when you are a freelancer working in a vacuum on a big project that spans weeks and months that it’s easy to not feel a sense of accomplishment. I’m not sure what to do about it.
I want to find my grove. The better half has the house all prettied up for Christmas. Sitting in the living room immersed in the casual holiday flare she is going for this year, leaves me feeling warm. She’s filling the kitchen with yummy smells. The kiddos are starting to get excited. The pups seem to be happier with the chill in the air. Still, even with all of that, my grove hasn’t found me yet.